It's getting really hard to hold onto reasons not to do stupid things. It's getting really hard to keep trying. And it's getting really hard not to just say fuck it to everything and end it.
I don't know what to do anymore. I have no one else to turn to but him and I don't even know if he'll be around for much longer. I'm scared for myself. I feel like admitting myself might be a good idea but I don't know how we would pay for it. What about the rumors at school? What about my friends? What about him? This year is really hard and I don't know if I can handle it much more. I can't stand all the fighting. I can't keep up with the work. I just want to get away. I want to get out. I want to be alone. I want to fall asleep without crying. I want my old life back. I want to be innocent and dependent. I want to be a kid again. I can't keep my thoughts straight. I can't keep everyone happy anymore. I don't know how much more of this I can take before I completely fall apart. Before I crash.
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